


Gentlemen Prefer...?

by Squeemish



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Established Relationship, Fluff, Gen, M/M, Once upon a time Siddig was blonde, and that is the reason for this fic, and video, the Jadzia and Julian Brotp makes a brief appearance, there's photographic evidence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-11
Updated: 2018-10-11
Packaged: 2019-07-29 17:13:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16268720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Squeemish/pseuds/Squeemish
Summary: Julian takes refuge in Garak's shop due to a hair mishap.





	Gentlemen Prefer...?

**Author's Note:**

> [Here is a video of a very blonde Siddig as a kinda of an explanation why this happened.](https://s-q-u-e-e-m-i-s-h.tumblr.com/post/178959377502/mkkstartrek-sound-quality-isnt-great-in-the)

“Go away.”

Garak arched a browridge; such an authoritative tone, and from a trespasser no less.

“Is something the matter?” He asked, gently touching the cloth covered back, “I had thought you’d be in the infirmary for hours?”

There was a small pause.

“If you laugh,” Julian said quietly, “You won’t leave this room alive.”

The cloth fell away. Garak frowned at the disgruntled face of Julian, who had his arms petulantly crossed over his chest, vibrant, blonde hair in disarray-

Oh.

“What an interesting choice of colour,” Garak said slowly, struggling to peel his eyes off the blonde puff. “I wasn't aware you were considering such an aggressive change.”

“It wasn't intentional!” Julian pulled at the hair and let out a frustrated growl, “I had a patient from Perk’xezllä, with quite a nasty flu. They sneezed on me. Several times. Turns out that their saliva can have a chemical reaction with certain types of fur... such as human hair.”

“I see… Can you not change it back?”

“Well, possibly yes, but I’d rather not risk it. Tampering with the process might have bad side effects, and besides, if my theory is correct, which it probably is, it should return to normal on its own. Soon. Ish.“ He checked the PADD on his lap, “In about four and a half hours.“

“But why hide in my wares? Surely you’d be more comfortable in your quarters?”

“NO.” His eyes went wide, “She’d find me there immediately.”

“Who--?”

“Jadzia!” Julian shivered, glancing around the room in mild panic, “She was there when it happened, and helped me with the research at first… But then, like a vile, devious worm, she betrayed me. I had no choice but to flee. She chased me to Quark’s! Through the promenade! Have you ever seen her run? It’s terrifying--”

Garak sat down to the floor next to Julian, nodding and humming as he recalled his moments of horror, eyes sliding back up to observe the problem. The dramatic difference between Julian’s natural tone and the new, light one certainly was disconcerting, perhaps to the point of upsetting. And yet, now that his initial shock had faded, Garak wasn’t certain it was nearly as disastrous as Julian felt. Tilting his head, he reached to discreetly brush through the hair, while Julian continued to ramble, unwittingly leaning into the the touch.

“...so I managed to sneak into a holosuite as Morn was leaving, now Quark on my tail as well. Then I realized that Morn had actually left the program running, and my God, there’ something deeply wrong with that man--” He collapsed against Garak’s shoulder with a deep sigh, “Anyway, I was trapped and the only thing I could think of was to activate the medical override and beam myself here. Sorry about the mess by the way, just thought I’d get comfortable while-- _wait_.” Julian lifted his head, eyes narrowed at Garak, frantically observing. With a silent, disgusted gasp he slid away, Garak’s hand left reaching for empty air.

“Hmm?” Garak blinked, and focused back on Julian’s face, adorned with a look of betrayal, “I’m sorry, what did you say?” Julian shook his head.

“Dear God. You like it.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“The hair. You actually… Oh, how dare you. I will never listen to your advice on clothing again. “

“With all due respect, you never listen to my advice.”

“I consider it. But no more, Mr. Garak. Your credibility has died here.”

“My dear, I do believe you’re overreacting-- _agh_.” Julian grabbed him by the collar and yanked.

“Listen carefully, _darling_ ,” He pulled at the shirt, wrinkling it, likely intentionally, “You have to keep them out.”

“Them?”

“Dax will have told half the station by now, she can’t help herself. So Chief. Quark. Nog and Jake also pose a threat.” Julian said, voice stern and vicious, “The last three are terrified of you, so use that to your advantage. Miles is easier, you can just annoy him away. “

“And if the lieutenant appears?”

“Stall for time. I’ll use the override again to escape.”

“What if someone else inquires about your whereabouts?”

“I died and am currently dead, no longer available for anything to do with the living.”

“Hm. I did receive a beautiful shipment of black brocade yesterday, with dark purple accents... Humans wear the colour for mourning, I believe.”

Julian pecked him on the lips, still clinging to his shirt with both hands, like a forlorn heroine.

“Remember me as I was.” He whispered, eyes mournful as he sunk back to the floor, “Now stop looking at me and return to your post. “

With a swoosh Julian vanished back under the fabrics, not all that hidden with he glow from the PADD peeking through. Rolling his eyes, Garak picked up the cotton he’d went to retrieve in the first place and walked out into the shop.

Jadzia was waiting by the counter. She had a PADD, held sideways as if to take a photo.

“Garak!” She smiled, so wide her nose wrinkled from it, voice shifting into a high, overly sweet pitch, “I am looking for a _very_ specific colour and can’t seem to find it… Would you mind if I checked in the back?”

“Oh, not at all! In fact, I think the exact hue you seek can be found at the end, under the blue silk.”

“Really? Thank you so much, you’ve been a great help” She waggled her brows and tiptoed to the door. Garak moved to grouch behind a clothing rack, gently parting two dresses aside to spy through.

“NO!” There was a heavy thump as Julian tripped through the door, the silk tangled around his ankles, “Get away from me!” He shrieked, trying to both crawl to safety and pull the silk up to cover the hair. Jadzia followed, smile and PADD steady, recording every delightful second.

“Oh, calm down, it really isn’t that bad…”

Julian glared at her, still trying to get away, when one of the dresses Garak was hiding behind clinked against the metal rack.

Uh-oh.

“Julian, _darling_ , I swear I fought as long as I could, but she simply overpowered me _-_ UNGH.”

If the situation were different, Garak might’ve found the speed with which Julian tackled him rather exciting. Actually he still did, thoroughly enjoying the murderous intent behind the slim arm closing around his neck, and the low, menacing whisper by his ear.

“ _You_ ,” Julian hissed, “are a very, _very_ dead lizard, Mr. Garak.”

Jadzia grinned at the PADD, biting her lip and shaking her head at it in joyous disbelief as the two of the rolled around the floor, knocking down several racks of clothing, and a few with hats.

“You know I’m not one to push, but if you ever get married this will be a great thing to put in the video.”

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Silliness. Dare I say buffoonery.


End file.
